Meeting Cory Matthews

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Last time I did a 'storytime' post I got some pretty awesome feedback, and because, I mean - who doesn't like awesome feedback?, I'm bringing it back. 


Freshman year on a huge campus in the northeast. As can be expected, the university's frat row is crawling with students, or rather predators, prey and the perpetually drunk girl down the hall, who on this one night blends in with her fellow18-year olds. (She's also the one exclaiming "See, it's fun!" to her companions as if this absolves her from ridicule during the week. No, Suzi, you'll still be the only drunk err, 'fun' one come Monday afternoon.) Touring the frats is pretty much the norm for any underage kid looking to go out in this college town, and my friends and I are no exception.

I don't really remember where I meet him. This boy who looks like Cory Matthews. But that is the very first thing I think when I meet him. "OMG, he looks like Cory!" I whisper-scream to my friend shortly after meeting him, receiving a very 'so what' look in response. I should probably mention now that Cory Matthews was my first ever crush at the ripe old age of 5. Sah-woon. So when a handful of friends insist that this Cory Matthews look-a-like 'definitely likes me', I'm not exactly upset, to say the least. He is really cute, in that adorable, bashful kind of way, and at least 6ft 2'. And despite looking like Cory, he wears a backwards cap and lets his jean hang off his hips in that attractive way guys do. Let's call said boy *Tommy.

Cory Tommy and I spend a lot of time together, just not actually alone together. As most freshman do, we travel in a pack of about 10 to 20 every time we go out, but Tommy and I would always separate from the group, standing a distance away from everyone but not so far that it's uncomfortable. I've always gotten along really well with guys, so I don't think much of it. I mean, I hang out quite frequently with one of the other guys trading CDs to copy onto our iPods, and another friend chases me down the hallway with a can of Nair. I'm no stranger to guy friends. It isn't until one night when we wander into some truly random frat with a dance floor that I realize "yeah I think this guy's into me." He isn't much of a dancer (has rhythm but not quite sure how to use it. Not that I'm a big dancer either. I can hold a beat/note, but that's about it), but he keeps pulling me out onto the dance floor so he has an excuse to touch my waist, my hips. He also compliments my cowboy boots and denim skirt (it was a Western themed night!) by saying "you sure do pull that off, don't you?" and staring down at me through his eyelashes. We babble back towards campus slightly buzzed and holding hands when we think no one is looking.

A few weeks later, we find The Mudhouse, a fraternity house just off the 'main row' where one of the brothers really likes to stare at my boobs - so much that I'm almost never on the list but always let in, and said brother always hands me a Bud Light can to replace the shitty Nattie Light on tap for everyone else.  And then, one totally normal night at The Mudhouse, something totally not normal happens.

The Mudhouse is having some really weird invite-only shindig where party-goers go from room to room for samples. Each room has it's own theme or station. Tommy is hanging out with some guys and is going to meet my small group a little later. Frat bro who likes to stare at my rack (but never touches! Come on!) begins showing me around the stations but eventually leaves me somewhere. I end up in the "Purple Haze" themed room, rocking out, throwing back heaven knows how many mind-eraser shots, and dancing with some guy that I never really learned the name of. Classy, I know. Eventually, I think I see a tall, curly-haired boy standing just outside the door frame, but when I look back he's gone. I go in search of Cory and find him sitting outside on a porch swing drinking a beer surrounded by a few friends. Plopping down on the seat next to him, I curl into his shoulder and he wraps his free hand around me. We sit like that for a while as he talks to his friends and squeezes my arm intermittently.

All I can think is "what is this?" Yeah, I knew he kinda liked me. He's said a few borderline things, dipping his toe into the waters of 'not-friendship' and then stepping back. He's held my hand in secret, dances with me occasionally and has infiltrated my little group of friends for the sake of me (so says little group of friends.) He seems to be almost claiming me in this moment, but he hasn't actually made a move. Like a real move on me. And in my clouded, mind-erased head, none of the aforementioned gestures mean a thing. In fact, there could only be one possible reason for all of this.

"Are you gay?," I blurt out as we walk back alone.

He stops walking just ahead of me and turns around hesitantly like he's not sure who he'll see. His brow furrows and a light flush takes over his face, and for a moment, I think "Shit! He is. I've embarrassed him." But then I realize that he's not embarrassed. He's pissed. Before I know it, he's stormed off ahead of me just within earshot. I think to call him back but I don't. We walk back to campus like this, him turning often to be sure I'm still following, me searching through my foggy head for what to do next. As we get closer to my dorm, he slows until I'm by his side. I look up at him expectantly. Expectant of what, I don't know. After what feels like 5 minutes, he pulls me into him and fits his mouth to mine. We dated for almost a year after that.   
..............

Actually, he kept walking right past my dorm and never spoke to me again.

April Fool's! :) Although I do still think about him sometimes. Tommy, where you at? FaceBook friend me again!

*Name has been changed for the sake of anonymity and because, well, I'm not sure I remember his name :) Damn you, mind-eraser!

Insert Monday's Post Here

Monday, March 30, 2015

Confession: I don't have anything to say here at TKD :( But that's only because I used all creative energy on today's Skylights article. So instead of whipping something random up, I'll just redirect you guys over there!

The Contact High of Connection

www.skylightsmagazine.com

I'm actually really, really proud of this piece. I struggled and tussled with it for weeks and finally the words started clicking into place. Fitting, really :)

So if you get a chance, go ahead and check the article out! And I'll see you here on Wednesday. Hope your week was all kinds of wonderful!

When You're Obsessed With The 100...

Friday, March 27, 2015

You compile a post full of gifs about The 100. You also talk incessantly about it, and tweet your love for it ad nauseum. Because you know, that's what it's like when you're a total fangirl.

I've mentioned The 100 approximately seventy billion times on the blog already (here, here, and here), and people who don't watch it are probably like "okay, alright, we get it!" But for reals... you don't. Not yet. You don't understand the amazingness that is the The 100 but maybe after this post, you will.

When you're obsessed with the 100

During the first 10 minutes, when you understand the premise of the show and how life in space would totally suck.


When you think "hey, maybe living in this world wouldn't be so bad"... 


When you realize it might be that bad because no one is safe...


Not even your favorites...


When your ship looks like it's setting sail...


 When you've gotta give props to the writers because it's only episode 3 and you are legitimately hooked... 


When someone tries to talk to you during an episode...


When it's 2 A.M. but you just have to see what happens next...


When you've finished Season 1 and you're trying to trick Netflix into thinking you're in Canada so you can watch Season 2...


When you finally trick Netflix and rejoice in 16 more episodes of this awesomeness...


When the anxiety is too real and you feel like you need someone to save you from the feels...


When it looks like your favorite ship is about to sink.


When said ship soars instead and then your other ship looks like a 'go'...


When the thing you thought wouldn't happen in a million years, just did...


When you can't wait until Season 3 and you know this is going to be your future next fall and you're totally ok with it...


Please don't blame me if you now spend your weekend watching episode after episode of The 100. I warned you! I also kinda encouraged you so there's that :)

Happy Weekend!

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Also, if you have some time, do check out Skylights Magazine! Today is the final day of launch week & we're highlighting the most popular tourist attractions in our cities!

Currently

Monday, March 23, 2015

Guess who's back? Back again. Kari's back. Tell a friend. You see where this is going, don't you? :)

As I've been kinda scarce around this blog of mine, I thought I'd get reacquainted via a post about what been going on recently. And as the gears are turning on multiple projects, TKD may be taking a more personal turn soon, so getting personal today feels right. (Thanks to my Kay for the inspiration behind this post!)

Currently banner

Wondering: where the hell spring is. Go home, Mother Nature. You're drunk.

Trying: to get my sleeping schedule in order. Somewhere along the past week or so, I started feeling wired at night and tired during the day, and it's so not a good look. Especially because it always seems like fixing it is so much harder for me than for other people. Wah!

Learning: what it really means to be a lady. And most importantly, learning how to rectify that definition with the kind of woman I want to be and the things I believe in.
Audrey Hepburn beliefs
Source
Listening To: "Black and Gold" by Sam Sparro. This was probably my favorite song in high school and so when I heard it again recently, I was taken right down memory lane. And the nostalgia is real ya'll. It will always induce amazing memories for me, like cruising down the highway at unspeakable speeds in my first car with my windows rolled all the way down on a warm night. A whole new meaning to "cruisin' for a bruisin'".

Reading: Insurgent by Veronica Roth. I was suppose to finish it this weekend, but alas, television was calling for me. It needs to get read this week though. I can't hold out on seeing the movie much longer and I really wanna reread it before I do.

Watching: all of the my shows I neglected to watch when I was binge-watching The 100. Seriously guys. My DVR is 91% full, even after watching like six shows and deleting them. It's a little sad.

Waiting: for The Mortal Instruments television show. Not that I need a new show to be addicted to, but come on now! They announced the project back in like October and all we've gotten so far is a name (Shadowhunters) and random tidbits of information. We still have no real idea when it will premiere ('this year' they say) or anything about the cast. Boo!
Mortal Instruments cast photo
Photo is of the movie cast; Source
Writing: or at least attempting to write my novel, Omission. I was suppose to have my first draft complete by March 31st, but I'm about two weeks behind on that deadline at best.

Focusing On: working out. Operation #beastmode hasn't been a total fail these past 3 months, but it surely hasn't be a soaring success either. One week I'm excellent, the next, well, I'm not. And I haven't checked in since basically the beginning. Whomp. Getting my shit together stat.

Loving: Skylights Magazine! I know, you guys. I've mentioned it on here bagillion times, but I can't help it. It's still launch week, meaning a new post every single day until Friday, and I'm just so proud of our little baby!
Skylights Magazine logo
What have you been up to recently? I want to know :)

Friday's Favorite Launch-ity, Launch, Launch

Friday, March 20, 2015

I was so looking forward to doing a proper favorites post today, as I haven't participated in quite some time and I've got a few things I'm loving on. But when I say that I haven't a creative or coherent bone left in my body right now, I do not lie. This week has been cray-zeee. With what little brain power I have left, I'll use it for shameless (or maybe shameful, depending how you look at it) self-promotion.


www.skylightsmagazine.com

Did you know that if you say "launch" enough times, it starts to sound like 'lunch'? Now, I'm hungry. I'm also weird or just sleep-deprived. Maybe both. Bleh. 

Months in the making and it's finally here. Relief and exhaustion and excitement are washing over me faster than I can feel them all, but I know this is the day we've been waiting for. Skylights Magazine is now live! Hip, hip, hooray!

Because a single day wasn't enough and we thought "why not extend this party?', we are having a "launch week". A week full of content as we'll be posting an article every day from now until the 27th. Crazy kids! 

We'd love for you to share your pictures and stories with us by tagging us on iG and Twitter and using #embracetheunexpected or #confesstheunexpected. Show us anything you find beautiful and unexpected, we want to see it all!  

And that's all I've got! What are your weekend plans? I hope your week was the greatest yet and I'm sure your weekend will be even better. Mine will be full of the things I neglected to do all week. Oy ve!

Happy Weekend! 


Courage & Not Reading {Confessions}

Wednesday, March 18, 2015


Mid-week scramble. I've got a bagillion-and-one things to do and about -10 hours to do it in. But I also haven't shown my face on this blog in a few days. Unacceptable. With that, I'll confess a few things because why not?


++ I legit rolled out of my bed yesterday. Leg day will do it to ya.

++ I am certifiably obsessed with The 100. It's a CW show about kids from space that get dropped to the ground to see if Earth is inhabitable. Basically, it's Lost with teenagers. And it's addicting. I've watched all of Season 1 and damn near half of Season 2 in the past 4 days. Send help soon...

++ There are a few projects I've been working on that are quite scary. And it's really strange to admit that fact - that I'm a little scared, because I'm normally not afraid of much. This quote has been the mantra for weeks now.

++ Above-mentioned projects would be why I've been kinda absent on this blog. It's been consuming almost every free moment, but that's okay for now.

++ I haven't finished a book in 3 weeks, which feels really weird when I read like crazy for the first two months of 2015.

++ After finally reading Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chobsky, I saw the movie. I cried pretty much the whole way through. It was beautiful. Just beautiful. Instant favorite. And now I love Emma Watson even more.


++ Speaking of book-to-movie adaptations, I'm really excited for Insurgent to premiere this weekend, despite the fact that I totally don't recognize it from the trailer. And weirdly enough, what's bothering me most is that Tris' hair is too short. LOL priorities.

++ But what's most exciting about Friday is that Skylights Magazine is launching!! I'm excited and nervous and freaking out all at once, and I'm not sure whether I wish it were here already or that I had more time. Regardless, you can sign up for a one time notification of the launch right here! >> WWW.SKYLIGHTSMAGAZINE.COM!

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In my quest to figure out my internet stuffs (my brand if you will), I've kind of missed confessing my little heart out. Perhaps, confession posts are here to stay, at least occasionally. Hmm...

*Note: I should be tuning back into the blog world very shortly and of course, reading posts and joining conversations again. Special thanks to all of you who keep checking my blog even though I've had like zero time to reciprocate the love. You the real MVP <3

Birthday Positivity

Friday, March 13, 2015

Oh hello! Yes, yes I did just miss an entire week of blogging. There was my birthday and then a few projects got kind of consuming and before I knew it, it was Thursday. Seriously, where did this week go? Shit, where did this month go? Where did my life go? That would be how I felt last Friday on my 27th birthday. How the hell did I end up here?

A few days back, or weeks I'm not sure, my lovely Kristen did a post on positivity and I immediately put it on my never-ending list of post ideas. And now that I'm officially a year older and I basically skipped the blogsphere's mandatory "Today's my birthday!" post, I figured it'd be the perfect post to commemorate turning 27. Sidenote: 27 is such a weird number. For real. I'd much rather be 26 or 28. In fact, let's pretend like I'm still 26 and then next March 6th I'll just magically be 28. Like "poof, I'm 28!" (see that Sex and the City reference here for a good laugh!).

Meet @ the Barre


Something you love about yourself.
I really love how passionate I am. Or maybe I love how obvious that is to other people. Since I was a teenager, it's always one of the first things people use to describe me. Whether it's "wow, you're excited, aren't you?" or "you really throw yourself into what you love" or "you love hard" or "you feel everything" -- I translate it all to a note about how passionate I am about things. (Although, that first comment might actually be an insult in disguise :) Whatever.)
Passion is such an important value to me and living passionately is something I've always strived for and loved identifying in others, so I'm so glad others see it too!

Something you want to work on.
Kindness. Kristen mentioned being nicer to herself in her post, and surely I need to work on that too. But really - being totally transparent here - I want to work on being kinder to other people. Last summer I read We Were Liars by E. Lockhart and a quote really stood out to me. "Be kinder than necessary." I've since learned that the quote originated with J.M. Barrie, but I'm still striving towards it. I don't really mean showing kindness to those I know and love. I think I'm a pretty nice person in that sense. But I'd like to work on being kinder to those around me, walking down the streets with me etc. I'm a New Yorker through and through, and we tend to move quickly and have a tough attitude. So yeah.
...There's also always losing a bit of weight and shiner hair :)

Give someone a compliment and mean it.
There are legit 50 different bloggers that I can genuinely compliment. I've met some amazing ladies over the past few years. But there are three ladies in particular who immediately pop into my head right now.
Dearest Kay and Deb, you are both such wonderfully supportive and positive people. You inspire me to dream because you never shoot down my fantasies, however unattainable they may be. As such supportive and nurturing people, you're bound to be (or rather already are!) wonderful mothers.
My soul-writer Mae, your kindness and sincerity are a rarity in this world! You dole out wisdom like it costs you nothing, and despite doing eleventy billion things, you find time for other people. They truly do not make them like you anymore.

Something you are proud of, succeeded in, or are just generally pumped about.
Generally, I'm really pumped about a few of the projects I've been working on recently (including Skylights Magazine launching in just a week! Get notified here!).
I think I'll always be proud of graduating law school, regardless of whether I practice or not, because it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Another thing that'll make me super proud of myself? Finishing the first draft of my novel, hopefully by the end of March. I also wouldn't complain about a two book deal from a well-known publisher :) Hello, Simon and Schuster!

Happy Friday! 

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